I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
