Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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