I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
