Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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