Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
