It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
