you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
