Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Your penis caused this!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
