Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
