people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
