i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
