Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
