We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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