Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
