I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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