I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
