i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my sisters under your porch take her home
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
