he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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