I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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