I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
