as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
