I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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