you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
