Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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