That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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