The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
