Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
