I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
