You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
