HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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