ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
