im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
