No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
