We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
