i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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