overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I am available for nakedness
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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