I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
