Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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