Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
