I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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