You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
