I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
did i walk over a car last night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
