omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am spending my child support on dildos
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
