4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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