I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
