Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
