i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
