New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
