Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
