Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
These tits shall not be calmed
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
