I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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