I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
