margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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