You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
