Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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