I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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