it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
