I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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