please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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