I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
