Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
