I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
