Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
