Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
