Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
