i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize