paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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