If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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