and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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