You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
