Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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