i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
