I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
