Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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