I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
